The Power of Conversation
Talking through tough times (like this pandemic)
Being in quarantine has provided a lot of thinking time for me. And it’s triggered thought around my work, the way I parent, my relationship with my husband, and existential questions on purpose, too.
I feel I’ve gotten a little bit deeper in terms of self-awareness, aided by a number of assessment tests I’ve taken and re-taken, and reading on personal development. But I’ve also gotten overwhelmed by all the information, both internal (my self-talk) and external because it’s not always easy to make sense of this mountain of ‘data’, especially when some of them seem conflicting.
Earlier this year, I decided to work again with a coach to help me in a new season in my life. I’ve been in between my life with babies, and a life with young kids who are learning to be independent in ways 4- and 7-year olds are independent. What that means for this mama is that I am re-assessing and redefining the energy I devote to meaningful work and developing myself.
When the pandemic happened, our coaching conversations naturally turned my coping with quarantine-imposed changes and messy feelings it came along with.
A banana boat experience
On one of my beach trips with my girlfriends in high school, we rode a banana boat. Essentially, a boatman attaches this giant inflated banana with small slippery handles on the back of his speedboat, and pulls it along, taking sharp turns to tip over the passengers clinging onto it. I’m not a thrill-seeker, nor a swimmer, so while my friends found it exciting, I was dying at each turn.
The past few months of the pandemic has felt like that ride. Thankfully, I think the boatman has not been too rough — we are fortunate to have easy access to necessities, are safe at home with family, and I have paid work. While being out on the open sea has been scary, I’ve managed to get back on the banana whenever I’m thrown off.
Conversations have helped me feel calmer in finding my grip and I know it’s been helpful for others, too. I would feel more anxious had I not been able to speak with someone about what I was going through and process it in a healthy and kind way.
A coach needs a coach
Friends who have kids have reached out to me during this time to ask about how it is to homeschool. Initially, the conversations were about costs and providers and methods. But soon enough, they were about feelings that needed expression, and thoughts that were open to reframing.
I love helping people untangle thoughts and feelings — it’s just so freeing to have someone to talk things through and move forward even just a bit. I hate feeling stuck, indecision drains me, and I get anxious with uncertainty. So being able to have an honest and raw conversation with the purpose of taking steps (not just ranting or brooding), whether that conversation happens over 10 minutes, an hour, or over a few months, has been valuable for me.
I don’t spend much on things other than those for personal growth and self-care, even now with shopping just a click away. Having a coach is self-care for me, and an investment in the right direction.
Originally written on June 20, 2020
